Grandparents Gifting a Trip for Christmas: What to Wrap for Kids

If you're one of the grandparents gifting a trip to grandkids for Christmas, you've probably hit the same snag everyone does. A week at the lake in July is a wonderful present, and it fits under the tree about as well as the lake itself. Meanwhile, a four-year-old on Christmas morning wants paper to rip, and "we're going somewhere in seven months" lands somewhere between confusing and disappointing.

The fix is simple. Give the trip, and wrap something that stands for it. Here's what works, which stand-ins suit which ages, and how to sort things out with the parents first so nobody blurts the dates or books the same week as soccer camp.

Why the little ones need something in their hands

You're not imagining it when the toddler seems more excited about the box than the plane tickets. Researchers at the University of Illinois Chicago found that material gifts tend to make young kids happier than experiences, partly because their memory is still developing. Lead author Lan Nguyen Chaplin pointed out that a toy works as a physical reminder. Every time a child picks it up, they get a little burst of happiness again.

The grown-up habit of valuing experiences over stuff develops gradually through childhood and adolescence, according to the same line of research. Your grandkids will probably come to treasure the trip itself. They're just not there yet at three.

That's good news for you. A wrapped stand-in gives them something to hold now, and it keeps pointing at the trip for months. The trip still does its job on the adult side, too: a study of adults found experiential gifts did more to strengthen relationships than material ones, largely because of the emotions people felt while sharing them.

What to wrap

A framed photo of where you're going

Print a big picture of the destination: the beach house, the lighthouse, the cabin with the screened porch, the roller coaster they've only seen on YouTube. Put it in an inexpensive frame and wrap it. Even better, use a photo of the two of you standing in front of it on a past visit.

The frame goes on a bedroom shelf, and it gives the whole family something to point at all spring. "Seventy more sleeps until we're there."

A box of matching shirts

Matching family shirts are a little goofy, and that's half the fun. Order a set for everyone going: "Grandpa's Fishing Crew" or "Team Grandma Goes to the Beach." Fold the kid-size ones on top so they're the first thing out of the tissue paper.

One practical note: leave the dates off unless the trip is fully booked and the parents have signed off. More on that below.

A book that puts Grandma and Grandpa on the adventure

A picture book that shows the trip before it happens is a lovely stand-in because kids can read it over and over while they wait. You can make one yourself tonight. Print photos of the destination and the family, staple them into a booklet, and write a line under each page: "Here's where Mila and Grandpa will look for crabs under the rocks." A homemade version costs almost nothing, and a toddler will love it just as much as anything store-bought.

If you'd like a hardcover, this is what we make at Tadpole Tales. You write a paragraph or two about the trip as you picture it, and the grandkids, the two of you, and even the dog become the characters, drawn from family photos. You pick from six art styles, from Watercolor to Superhero Comic, and you preview every page and can change any line or picture before it prints. A single book is $39 with free US shipping.

Whichever route you take, put yourselves in it. The kids already know what a beach looks like. The new part is Grandma building a lopsided sandcastle right next to them.

Gear they'll use on the trip

This is the easiest category, and it works at every age. Pick what fits where you're headed:

• Goggles, a bucket, and a shovel for the beach
• A kid-size backpack for carrying their own snacks through the airport
• A flashlight or headlamp for camping
• Sunglasses and a floppy sun hat
• A small fishing pole for the lake
• A cheap kid camera, or a notebook and crayons for a trip journal
• A stuffed animal tied to the place, like a sea turtle for the aquarium trip

Tie on a tag with the destination name. Gear has a bonus: kids get to use it before you leave. Packing and repacking a backpack is a solid rainy-day activity in March.

Match the stand-in to the kid

A rough guide from a lot of Christmas mornings:

• Ages 2 to 3: something squishy or wearable, like the stuffed animal or the T-shirt. They won't really get the trip yet, and that's fine. You're handing the parents a prop to talk about it later.
• Ages 4 to 5: the book and the framed photo. They'll ask "when?" about forty times a day, so a paper chain where they tear off one link a week helps everyone.
• Ages 6 to 8: a map with the destination circled, a trip journal, their own backpack. Kids this age like being in on the plan, so let them choose one activity.

Talk to the parents before you wrap anything

This is the part that makes or breaks the gift. AARP's grandparenting research found that busy schedules, meaning the grandparents' own plus their kids' and grandkids', are the second-biggest thing keeping grandparents from time with their grandchildren. A trip can fix that, as long as it fits the family calendar.

Before you book, have one short conversation. Something like: "We'd love to give the kids a trip for Christmas. Before we book anything, can we look at dates together?" Then cover these.

Dates and school. Ask about school calendars, camps, sports, and the other grandparents' plans. Hold off on booking until the parents say yes.

Who's going. Are the parents coming, or is this grandparents-only? AARP calls trips without the middle generation skip-gen vacations. Both kinds are great, but kids get attached to whichever version they hear first, so settle it before Christmas.

What the kids hear, and when. A three-year-old told about a trip in June will ask "is it today?" every morning until June. Some parents would rather share only "a big adventure with Grandma and Grandpa this summer" on Christmas and save details for later. Let them decide.

What goes on the gift. If dates aren't locked in, keep them off shirts, books, and cards. Kids remember the one wrong date you printed, forever.

Who explains it. Agree on who does the telling so you're not giving a different version than Mom is.

Money. If you're covering flights and the parents are covering meals, say so plainly now. It saves an awkward moment at the rental car counter.

If you won't be there Christmas morning

Plenty of grandparents give a trip partly because they live far away. More than half of grandparents have at least one grandchild living more than 200 miles away, according to AARP. If that's you, mail the box early and write "Open when Grandma and Grandpa are on the video call" across the top. Watching a kid pull out a shirt with your name on it through a phone screen still counts.

Ask the parents to stash it somewhere high. A curious five-year-old and a box marked "open later" don't share a house for long.

After you get home

The stand-in does its best work before the trip. Afterward, little kids need help remembering, since their memory is still catching up. Print the photos fast, before they disappear into your camera roll. Tape one next to the framed destination photo from Christmas so there's a before and an after. At bedtime, ask the kids what their favorite part was and write down exactly what they say, mispronunciations included. "The cwab that pinched Grandpa" is worth keeping.

For more ways to get moments off your phone and into something kids can hold, our guide to memory keeping for busy parents has realistic ideas. And if you're still filling in the rest of the list, these meaningful gift ideas for kids don't require a plane ticket.

The trip is the real gift. The thing in the box is how a four-year-old knows it's coming.

Get started with building a custom book about the trip you are about to gift them. It only takes 10 minutes, and the story and characters will be customized to you.

Sources

• Why material gifts make young kids happier than experiences: study
• Age differences in children's happiness from material goods and experiences: The role of memory and theory of mind - ScienceDirect
• Experiential Gifts Foster Stronger Social Relationships than Material Gifts
• AARP.ORG/RESEARCH
• Grandparent, Grandchild Skip-Gen Vacations on the Rise
• 2018 AARP Grandparents Study